Are you sure you're winning?
Are you frustrated with losing?
Each of us has a burning desire to succeed, to win and a la Charlie Sheen we’ve been fooled into thinking we can “fake it until we make it.” Well, for better or for worse, we’re not Charlie and faking it certainly doesn’t work in my mirror.
You can be better. You can win. As I get older, what ceases to surprise me is that the answers to everything we need to know, about whatever we want, are already available. Here are a few.
Whether you believe as French political philosopher, Alexis de Tocqueville, “We get the government we deserve,” it is rather consistent, that all factors being equal, we attain the success we deserve. Early on some of us are taught that winning is a result of working hard. Later, perhaps from being raised as “knowledge workers,” we learn that winning is a result of working smart. Which do you believe? I happen to believe that it’s hard to be smart all of the time so we unfortunately must be both (depending on the day).
MANAGING EXPECTATIONS
Being disappointed by others is never fun. Disappointing yourself is worse. There have been many days I’d start full of vigor, ready to get a truckload of work done. I would even make a list (and it would be long but I would be confident). As the day moved along, I’d get good at adding to the list but the crossing off -not so much. What did I do wrong? Well, it wasn’t making the list. What I had trouble doing was making my “day.” It’s entirely unrealistic to assume you will get nothing but work done all day. You will eat, you will daydream and if you’re lucky you will interact with other humans (and they will add to your list too). Social activity, imagination and basic needs are all required for daily living. So plan for all of these the way you plan your work:
- Make a personal list along with your work list of things you are excited to accomplish (including lunch)
- Schedule time to use your imagination because you likely will (daydream) anyway
- Plan email breaks, meetings and other necessary social interaction. You are a social animal after all
I delivered a presentation a few months ago to a group of high school students. I was invited to speak by American University. I surprised the students by suggesting that when they got to college to plan all of their fun, first. I asked what they would do after they planned time for fun and their predictable answer was, “I guess study.” Their parents, also in the audience, were pleased.
SPOT REDUCING AND OTHER MYTHS
In 2009 I took the opportunity to earn a fitness certification through the National Strength Professionals Association( NSPA). I learned a lot about what I didn’t know about strength training and nutrition. This was in spite of my dedicated teen years of fruitless muscle building research. One thing I did know going in was that you can’t “spot reduce” fat in your body. For example if your torso is sporting a spare tire but the rest of you is “fine,” don’t expect your trainer to ignore strength training, cardiovascular training or body composition to focus on your gut. I found this to be the same with being successful in other life categories like business. It’s nearly impossible to be “spot excellent” with any consistency in life. Have you ever been great at finding something to wear with a messy closet? Can you concentrate at work when your life at home is a mess? How about vice versa?
“The reason we admire people who are truly winning, is because deep down we know they’ve mastered many of their flaws.” ~ Jason Howell
It’s probably one flaw that’s holding you back from winning. One little weakness you know about yourself, that prevents you from getting what you want. Here are some keys to getting from average living to winning:
- Identify what you want, say it out loud and write it down
- Realize to some people your goal sounds ridiculous (ignore that)
- Identify the bad habits you have so you can work with them
Managing your bad habits can make an impact on your likelihood to win simply because of the mindset it puts you in. No spot succeeding, you work to “win” in all areas of your life. The “balance” of this approach while tricky at first, makes the winning more enjoyable.
Life is not always easy but it has a way of balancing in it’s own timing. Why not help it along? I have found that when I proactively put things I can control in balance – clean my bathroom, workout regularly, delete old e-mail, make the dreaded “cold calls” – my life’s goals start to line up nicely. A little elbow grease mixed with a little magic.
That’s one formula for the winning we deserve.
Jason Howell is the author of AMERICA: Still the Land of Opportunity, Always a Home for the Brave.” For more insights on success in business and in life, pick up your copy today. Also, be on the lookout for his newest book in the Patriotic Development™ series coming this Fall (2011).
